You don’t know it but:
My mind wanders constantly to thoughts of you lying by my
side,
Resting your chin upon my chest and gazing up at me with
hopeful eyes,
Set to pull me into a world of comfort and bliss with one
effortless stare.
Running my hand gently through your silky hair lets me know
that this is real,
For with every strand I brush behind hidden ears I uncover
more beauty than before.
I feel the warmth emanating from your core, fueling my
desire to hold you close
And by chance I may hope to retain a warm reminder of you for
a colder time.
Your hand meets my cheek with a caring touch as you lightly
run each finger along imaginary lines, as if tracing my form for the first
time.
Still we smile at each other, wanting each second only to
remain in this moment for yet another, free from the outside stresses of the
world, encapsulated by each other.
I strengthen my embrace around you in hopes that I may never
lose you to the folly of thought, to the pulling tides of modern ideals, or the
strife of regret.
I wish then and now that we could have remained within each
other’s embrace, frozen in a place reserved only for those who are content to
be still themselves, striving to remain in that same moment and consequently
experiencing nothing save a lengthening desire; desire in itself felt by those
who have nothing left to lust after.
But alas, I could only hold so tight, and perhaps the
tenacity of the act itself was what drove this divide between us. But I know of
no other way to live than to hold those things I cherish the most closer than
the rest; to hold them high in esteem and adore them, for they are what truly
brings joy into each passing moment.
That gathered warmth has dwindled wearily over your many
days away.
With each ring of my phone my heart skips a beat or perhaps
even two, for I think each time that it could be you.
I see you constantly out of the corner of my eye and wonder
how you could happen to appear in all of these places, only to realize that you
are in but one; the only one that I carry with me and likewise carries you.
Ignoring the feelings I have for you is a daunting feat to
be sure. It will be nearly impossible to complete a full erasure, for this
fissure I feel is not going to pass in leisure, and each attempt made starts
the cycle once more.
Many say to let you fade and to take up fishing, although I
cannot be certain at their meaning, for given the choice between three million
fish and you, my dear, the decision is quite clear.
